Part 1 of our miscarriage story was hard enough to write, but I wanted to let you in on it because well, thats what this blog is all about. But, this week we found out that our story didn’t end there with moving on and trying again. On Wednesday, I had a missed call from our hospital with a urgent voicemail to call back the resident on call for gynaecology. Thinking it would just be a follow up on how I am doing after my procedure, I called back. I was walking down one of the busiest streets in Halifax. It started off like I expected but then she told me that they had gotten the results back from the lab about the sample that they sent. This is a routine thing that they do after you have the embryo removed. Well, turns out that the baby was infact a partial molar pregnancy. This was all so new to me that she gave me a brief rundown of how its abnormal tissue rapidly growing (similar to cancer). It is very dangerous and she said I should be so thankful that I miscarried before it had gotten any worse. But then she hit me with the even worse news. Because this rare disease is so similar to cancer, I have to be watched carefully for the next 6 months to a year with weekly blood tests to make sure my pregnancy hormone is dropping and that no tissue is still growing anywhere else in my body. This also means no more children for Rob and I in that time frame and maybe longer. This crushed me. I started to cry right there in the middle of the many passerby. We handled our miscarriage by seeing the bright side that in a month or 2 we could be pregnant again, but now, that is all gone. Im still not sure about the details of this new dark cloud in our life and the internet just makes it scarier. What I do know is that the baby had more chromosomes than it should, which creates this tissue that spreads throughout the body. If it has spread outside of my uterus, it will adhere to my organs and result in chemo and possible surgery. For now as we watch and learn more, I look to a higher power, a reason for all of this, and ask that it be the lesser of the evil. I was told that children were going to be hard for me because of other complications by my doctor when I was in my early 20’s, but because of having Aubrey so easily, we didn’t think that we would ever have a problem. Now, my snuggles are longer, my kisses are stronger and my eyes are constantly on that little boy. It will all be ok and I am so lucky that I get to be mom to him. That is enough for me.
Katie Rose xo