Let’s just start this with saying when It comes to your pregnancy, your birth story, your body and your parenting, everything is 100% your choice. You have full control over how you deal with the situations in front of you and should take advice from no-one else but the little voice inside you, your instinct.
I think for that very reason is why I am so passionate about paving my own path and only taking advice when needed. It’s why I don’t answer the door to people pushing their religions, I don’t answer well to the people sending me hate if I eat meat, etc etc, because I am me. When I want to learn about a product, a food, a diet or a religion, I’ll come to you, trust me, because I love to learn.
So, with 2 labours, a diploma in the health industry, a sister who used to be a Postpartum nurse (now a gyny nurse) a mother who was a nurse, A sister who is a Holistic Nutritionist, and an overwhelming need to learn about everything I can, especially about my body, I feel it’s safe to say that on the topic of birth plans, I have a well rounded knowledge on them. They don’t work for me, and many other women I know.
You got to think of all of those situations where women had to be whisked in for emergency c-sections to save both their lives and the life of their baby. It happens ALOT. It is not something many do plan for and you need to be ok with that. Or me as a first time mama at the age of 25, not realizing how much pain actually went into labour and realizing in that moment that all the drugs were what I needed to get through it. So many women, plan out every last detail, from the outfit, the music, to how their husband will react, and what the baby will do. They then, get in there, feel that pain, and in order to get the baby out, measures need to take place that wasn’t apart of their precise vision they wrote down on a paper. After they leave, they take to social media to complain about how it was not the way they wanted it, blaming the hospital, the staff, the people who just wanted to guarantee you both ended up healthy on the other side. And yes, somethings can be averted, and yes sometimes doctors make mistakes. But everyone is human and fighting for you.
I believe, for me, that going in with no plans, just the emotional well being of dealing with the punches as they come, I end up with a birth story, that though scary at times, I feel ok with. Would I have taken the 2 shots of morphine when in labor with Aubrey knowing that his breathing might be slowed once he was born, probably not. But I’m ok that I did because I needed to get through the labor. It was a decision I made in the moment. Not something to put on the staff because I didn’t ask all the questions and they were run off their feet with 5 other patients. Would I have liked to go naturally with Poppy, OFCOURSE! But, with health scares and 2 versions to get her into the proper head down position, when they told me they were inducing me at 37 weeks and I wasn’t leaving the hospital until I had a baby in my arms, we dealt with it, and prepared for whatever was to come.
You are given 9 months to prepare for this baby. Yes that’s both developmentally preparing the baby in your belly, but also for you as a mother. Over those nine month, you have had no control over your weight, your nausea, your exhaustion, when the baby kicks, really anything to do with the pregnancy, so why put pressures on yourself to control the delivery, and post delivery process. Take each move and decision on and be ok with the outcome going in so that you aren’t disappointed with the outcomes for the rest of your life when you leave. It is a hard thing to swallow if you are like me and need to plan, but one mental health decision that will make you be ok at the end of a sometimes traumatic event.
But, Like I said in the beginning, these are my opinions and work with my beliefs. The only person who can make those decisions is you. So point the finger on yourself and figure out what you want your postpartum journey to look like. Plan it out and be ok with rolling with the punches, or like me, walk in there with the mental stability and a support system behind you to make the decisions when they come, either way being ok with the end result.