Poppy turned 11 months on Monday, and for some reason on that day, my body decided it was time to stop breastfeeding.
We have been talking to you about our slow weaning process over the past few months. But, because Poppy always loved to breastfeed, I thought it would be a while until we actually were done. One feed a day, usually her afternoon feed, we replaced with a bottle. It worked great for us. She seemed happier when she had formula in the afternoon and it hadn’t seemed to affect my milk supply at all. But, in doing so I had noticed that my baby weight was coming off easier. I chalked it up to my workouts that I had been doing.
2 weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to fly to Toronto for an event with Pampers. It was the second trip away from Poppy in less than 3 months and I think that’s where things decided to go down hill. Once I arrived in Toronto, I realized that I didn’t have all of the parts for my pump. Not even thinking that I could have purchased the missing parts from the drug store until I was boarding the plane to return home, I went the 30 hours with only self-expressing myself every few hours. Since then, Poppy seemed to get frustrated at my breast as though she wasn’t getting what she wanted and seemed starving after each feed. We decided to add another feed of formula into the day cutting breastfeeding down to first thing in the morning, after her morning nap and before bed. I noticed that my engorgement that I would have before I fed was totally gone and I just felt empty.
Last week, we left for PEI on our family road trip. We didn’t think about bringing formula or a bottle because we had me. By Poppy’s bedtime, we learned that was a huge mistake. My milk supply just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Jump to this Monday and Poppy’s 11th month. My breasts were done. Usually waking up leaking, they didnt. They wouldn’t even supply her enough during our morning feed to keep her from fussing without a bottle. So, Rob and I decided with a heavy heart, to stop my stress over not being able to satisfy her, and just cut out breastfeeding cold turkey.
We are at the end of day three and it seems to be a piece of cake for her. She is a bit fussier than usual and her stomach is getting used to being solely on formula, but all in all, going well. It has helped that we started slowly cutting her feeds out one at a time.
With that being said, it still weighs heavy on me. Aubrey weaned himself at 8 months, and I was excited to be able to choose myself when to stop having these slow, quiet, moments with my possibly last baby. The fact that it was my body that made the decision, took that decision from me again and I get a small glimpse into the feeling that a woman gets when she can’t nurse at all. What I have to remind myself of is the fact that we had 11 successful months of feeding her, and nothing can take that away.
What has been your weaning journey?